tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post6597566384621090226..comments2023-12-10T19:04:26.773-08:00Comments on Author2Author: Last query from our Query Clinic participantsEmily Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073350248209507278noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-48113785179210125132012-03-29T14:53:47.269-07:002012-03-29T14:53:47.269-07:00Thank you so much for the query critique and comme...Thank you so much for the query critique and comments! Your thoughts have been incredibly helpful and I appreciate it more than words can say!<br /><br />-Monica<br />fumafiles.blogspot.com<br />mfumarolo.blogspot.comMonica Fumarolohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06751397905523351234noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-82216073089875170582012-03-27T16:27:28.829-07:002012-03-27T16:27:28.829-07:00I agree with Em -- GREAT title and a fun premise! ...I agree with Em -- GREAT title and a fun premise! I would pick this book up.<br /><br />I think pitch para #2 could use some more specifics, like what EXTERNAL FORCE does she need to overcome to achieve success, AND WHAT DOES SUCCESS LOOK LIKE to her now? <br /><br />In other words, what does she want more than anything (to be on stage so her life is not boring?), and what stops that from happening, and how does she work to overcome it? Also what terrible thing will happen if she DOESN'T achieve her goal?<br /><br />I have a feeling you know this in the ms, but just need to spell it out here to make this book stand out and show the STAKES for your MC.<br /><br />Good luck!DeenaMLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01093257361683249174noreply@blogger.com