tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post7791634269025690612..comments2023-12-10T19:04:26.773-08:00Comments on Author2Author: Query Clinic ContinuesEmily Marshallhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07073350248209507278noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-92192153915312901522012-03-14T07:32:26.696-07:002012-03-14T07:32:26.696-07:00Longer title might not be a bad idea either. I'...Longer title might not be a bad idea either. I'm reading now-- How My Private Personal Journal Became a Bestseller.Kristina Springerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03171504801682649341noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-61578860805221249212012-03-13T16:08:03.975-07:002012-03-13T16:08:03.975-07:00"Moist lips of the prime suspect" might ..."Moist lips of the prime suspect" might be my fav line of the year. :)<br /><br />What I love about this query is how it gets across the strong witty voice, and the Hollywood star hook. It is also a missing person mystery, which is a nice mix for the genre! <br /><br />I do wish this type of book would boom a bit again to temper the dark books on the shelves now, but that said I agree that this could be a fab self-e-pub title for you for that same reason!DeenaMLhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01093257361683249174noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-73196062349800410732012-03-13T11:55:31.636-07:002012-03-13T11:55:31.636-07:00Kate...good point about making what's at stake...Kate...good point about making what's at stake for Ally more clear. I thought it was sort of implied in the query that she feels responsible (even though that's only one of the reasons), but maybe I think that because I know that's what happens :) This is why having multiple people look at queries are so helpful!Emily Marshallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07073350248209507278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-46883503567087622672012-03-13T10:00:24.395-07:002012-03-13T10:00:24.395-07:00Tina, that's a great idea. Playing with the fa...Tina, that's a great idea. Playing with the fame idea in the title would be fun too. "Ally Smith, relationship wrecker of the famous." OK, that's pretty long, maybe not! And I have to say I love the "moist lips of her prime suspect" line. Talk about blending romance and mystery! I think I'd like to know why Ally goes hunting for the missing girl, though. What's at stake for her?Kate Fallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12856887940900664692noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-70959018904825499472012-03-13T08:04:16.277-07:002012-03-13T08:04:16.277-07:00ooh...I like that Tina!ooh...I like that Tina!Emily Marshallhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07073350248209507278noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3318840210070768346.post-36946825823115051622012-03-13T07:28:31.950-07:002012-03-13T07:28:31.950-07:00I might change the main character's name to Sa...I might change the main character's name to Sage and title it SAGE ADVICE. :-)Kristina Springerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03171504801682649341noreply@blogger.com