Sick Thoughts

Tip of the Day: Doctor’s offices can be places for inspiration. Read an article in a magazine you normally wouldn’t read for ideas, or bring pen and paper and make plotting notes while you’re waiting.

I’ve been feeling really run down lately—sick as a dog, actually—and it’s impacting my writing. When I’m sick, I just don’t have the energy to write the next chapter. Or at least I tell myself I don’t. How much physical energy does it take, right? I’m sitting my butt in a chair. You’d think I could manage that much.

But when I’m sick, the ideas don’t come. Nothing seems funny or interesting. My mind gets sort of mushy. Even a crossword puzzle feels dangerously close to thinking.

It’s not really the lack of energy from being sick, even combined with the full-time job and the kids who insist on eating on something ridiculous like a daily basis. It’s the negative thoughts. When I get sick, I’m 100% percent convinced that I have no talent and writing is a waste of my time.

Fortunately, I have enough experience to know that illness affects my self-esteem big time, so I can tell myself this is only temporary. I’ll feel better and I will once again be inspired to work through my plot problems. I will drive to work thinking of my characters instead of wondering if I remembered to bring decongestant. But in the meantime, the negative thoughts are hard to fight. Why am I trying to write a book? Am I enjoying it, or is it only drudgery that I’m not particularly good at? Now that I’ve figured out I’m not particularly talented or tenacious, shouldn’t I go back to bed?

Writer friends certainly help! This weekend we had a visit from an out-of-town writer friend and the special treat of a dinner out. I coughed through the whole thing, but it definitely lifted my spirits. So thanks ladies! And sorry about the coughing.

Today it’s back to me alone, staring at words on a computer screen while my mind whispers, “Forget those self-imposed deadlines. You can’t do it. Make your excuses. It’s too much for you. You’re not very bright. Remember when you argued with the bank teller that she was shortchanging you because she only gave you five twenties for $100?”

So take a break, right? Breaks sometimes make me feel worse, though. Like I’m saying I really can’t write, or worse, that I shouldn’t write. What I need is someone standing over me reminding me that I have no power of judgment when I’m sick. Does this happen to everyone? Misery loves company, but I’ve never heard anyone else say they think they should quit writing every time they catch a bad cold. Is this a common problem in the writing world?

Sickness never loans itself out to comedy, does it? Although remember the Muppet Show and Veterinarian Hospital? I loved that sketch.

So ... Tune in Next Week (as they used to say in voiceover) for our Luck O' the Query week! Luck, you say? We can debate it next week in our Continuing Story.

-- Kate, Miss Apprentice Writer