It's OK to Not Be Happy All the Time

Tip of the Day: Feeling blue? Read through some of your early writing and pat yourself on the back when you see how much you have improved. Practice really does work.

If you're like me, and like most writers I know, you don't like to admit it when you feel discouraged. Rejections are supposed to happen, and writers are supposed to shrug them off. As for the discouragement of being stuck on a plot or not being happy with the pages you've written? Complaining about that is, well, nothing but complaining. Nobody's making you be a writer at gunpoint.

Writing means giving up family time, so for me, the last people I want to complain to are my family. They are the ones who live in a messier house, don't go out for movies with me, and watch me spend household money on writing classes and conferences. It seems like it would take a lot of nerve for me to make them listen to me complain about writing on top of everything else.

But last week, I couldn't take all the disappointment anymore and I broke down to my husband. Ugh, I've been writing for so long, why aren't I better at it?! Why is it still so hard for me? Will I ever sell anything? Do I have an ultimate goal here or am I just kidding myself?

And my husband was very surprised that it took me so long to talk to him. Keep going, he said. Don't keep it all inside. The people who love you want to support you. We believe in you.

Then he booked a babysitter and made reservations for us at a trendy restaurant.

So the lesson I have learned is one I have had to re-learn many times in my life. It's fine to ask the people you love for help and support. It really is. I can't always be Super Spouse or Super Parent. It's okay for the people around us to see that we try our best to achieve our dreams even when it's a huge effort--and that sometimes, this effort requires a little pampering.

-- Kate, Miss Perfecting the Pages