This week we'll be posting snippets from our works in progress. This is from smack in the middle of my WIP about a teenage girl on the Moon searching for both her missing boyfriend and her kidnapped brother. She finds shelter in a lunar residence--a mansion owned by a very rich family. She's never been around rich people, she's not sure if she's breaking any laws, and there's a war going on besides, a war in which she has no idea what side her hosts take. The reason I picked this passage was because it proves to me that that book is written on revision. The first draft had her thinking about her confusion. "I might as well have been lost in the desert of Texizona." On revision, I replaced this with action.
... But she has me spooked. Unless we sneak out now without food or directions, we are completely in the power of these strangers. If Corinth connects us to the factory, he might decide we belong there, and I have no idea what the rules are out here.
The glider still must have me motion sick because the floor below us seems adrift. A gilt-edged mirror hangs on the wall across from the bed’s real wood headboard. I unpin my hair, sprinkle it with water, and comb it with my fingers. Carefully, I pull my hair back, pinning up the loose strands over my ears.
I like the idea of my main character fixing her hair to get herself under control rather than fretting in internal dialog. It's a small triumph, but those small triumphs are what makes this crazy writing thing worthwhile.
-- Kate, Miss Perfecting the Pages
Yes! The internal dialog vs. action balance is tough in these faster-paced plot-driven novels!
ReplyDeleteLove the concept Kate. Deena was telling us a bit about it before, and I think it sounds like a fun book :)
ReplyDeleteThanks Emily!
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