Thursday, June 5, 2008

Book v. Kid

Tip of the Day: Epidurals are your friend—whether you are giving birth to a baby or a book.

I see so many authors talk about how publishing a book is just like having a baby. And I used to think—oh sure—I can totally see that. But having just given birth last week to a beautiful little boy, I’m here to tell you it is SO NOT the same.

A comparison:

The Book: Delivery is hard. There are lots of edits and changes that may make you crazy. Long nights, headaches, maybe even rotten dreams, wondering if you are really capable of making a great book.

The Kid: Same worries, more intensified. And a HUMAN BEING IS BEING RIPPED OUT OF YOUR BODY. It hurts a little more than the book.

The Book: The book will keep you up some nights worrying.

The Kid: The kid will keep you up nights. Like, every two hours for months and months. You’ll be babbling in your sleep and diapering the dog from sleep deprivation.

The Book: The book is SO cute.

The Kid: The kid is cuter. And giggles. And gives kisses.

The Book: Is on the shelf for a limited time.

The Kid: Depends on you-- for at least 18 years (though I’m hearing many stick around till 30 these days. God help us.)

The Book: People are going to judge your beloved book and it will be hard. If someone says something mean about your book, you’ll feel bad for awhile and defensive. You may even be tempted to send a nasty comment/e-mail back.

The Kid: People are going to judge your kid and it will be hard. But if they say something mean to your kid you’ll show up at their house and beat them up. :-)

So see? Not exactly the same. Both are super rewarding though and fulfill lifelong dreams. Although the book does PAY you while the kid just takes lots of $$ to raise. I’m hearing, per Dr. Phil, $250K per kid to raise them till their 18. Ok, hmmm, times 4, that makes, uhhhh….yikes. I better go write some more books fast!

Kristina, Miss Soon-to-Pub


Emily Marshall said...

Ha. I loved this post. Yep they seem similar, but yet so many differences.

amuse me said...

The tip of the day needs to be taken to heart -- where's mine??

DeenaML said...

See, this is why I'm holding out on having a kid AND selling a book. :)

Ghost Girl (aka, Mary Ann) said...

LOL! Fabulous, Tina! And Congratulations again! are you waiting to have a kid until you've sold a book? hmmmm...I feel a contract coming on...or is that contraction?

Tabitha said...

LOL!! Great post. :)

I've already got two kids. Fortunately I'm stopping at that. :)

Lisa Schroeder said...

hahahaha - okay, I'm the one who said having a book is a lot like having a baby. I stand corrected. :)

Hope you are both doing okay! Have you fed him a hamburger yet?

Kristina Springer said...

GG- thanks! And Lisa-- hee hee, were you one of the people that said that? I've seen it a few times. It is a good comparison! And no hamburgers yet! But the kid is so freaking hungry all the time!! :-)