Fear and Loathing in Writing

Tip of the Day: If you have been experiencing depression or disturbing thoughts and/or feelings, see your doctor. There is NO SHAME in this.

*all names have been changed to protect myself from losing friends*

Many moons ago, my friend Figgy Fuzzbudget texted me. The following is a dramatic interpretation of real texts.

FF: I think I'm clinically depressed.
MJ: Why?
FF: I saw that commerical for Abilify. That's me. They're talking about me.
MJ: Shut up. You're fine. You're a writer, we all go through those bouts. Now get back to your manuscript.

If I had any indication at all that one my dearest friends was seriously clinically depressed, I wouldn't have treated the text so casually. I know Figgy well and while, yes, there probably was some depression, there wasn't anything alarming going on.

Microsoft Office Clipart

We writers tend toward the dramatic.  We spend the majority of our awake time running crazy scenarios through our heads. When I was younger, I thought there was something wrong with me. Turns out there are thousands upon thousands of others out there like me. They're commonly referred to as creative people. So much for being unique...

When you have that uncanny ability to think of devastating scenes on a regular basis, it's bound to take a toll on your real life. Channeling them into writing helps, but I venture every single writer out there would grudgingly admit they apply their overactive imagination to real life on occasion. And that's when we get depressed and wonder if there really is something wrong with us.

This career, while magical and amazing, is also easily devastating. Everything is subjective. One person loves your book. The next person hates it, accuses you of trying to negatively influence readers with your outdated, ignorant agenda (despite the fact you didn't even gave a thought to that while you were writing). Readers don't mind spewing hatred in your direction. They don't mind taunting you if your next book wasn't as incredible as your last. They turn on you at the drop of a hat, not stopping to think that your very soul was poured into creating that book they just ripped apart.

Putting out a new book can be an incredibly frightening endeavor - forcing you to question everything about yourself. Not just your word choices, but your weight, your relationships, and what you ate for breakfast. We creative types tend to overindulge in drama - not because we want to, but because we're hardwired to do so. If we weren't, we'd be accountants (not slamming accountants, I have three in my family). It's simply a different mind set and ours is sometimes set to bonkers.

What you need to is find other like-minded writers. Bitch when you need to and be supportive to your friends when they need it. Give yourself a day or two to stop hating your latest book before deleting it from your hard drive forever (as I've considered doing more than once). Take a day off of writing if you need to.

Just know you are not alone. We all escape to those dark, devastating caves. If you can't see a light, or fail to find your way out, seek professional help. If you can see the light, but want to give it the finger, chances are you just need a shoulder to cry on for a while.

And I know I said at the top names have been changed, but I only told one story. So here's a list of other writers I frequently commiserate with: Sally Stickleberry, Patty Poopypants, Frank Fuggedaboutit, and Golly Geewillikers.

Be that shoulder. Be honest about your feelings. Help your friends see that they are not alone.

Megg, Miss Enchanted ePubber

Crits & Hurt Feelings

Tip of the Day: Leave reviews for books you buy. They don't have to be long, drawn-out affairs - just a simple, "Loved it!" is good enough.

So I had kind of sad thing happen this week. A writer-friend, someone I trust a lot, asked me to do a crit for her. I happily said yes because I love, love, love editing.

It was a very early version of her story. I wanted to help, so I thought I'd be as brutal as possible. As a critique partner, I felt it was my job not to pull any punches. Because if I lie, and stroke her ego, what good would I be doing? The point of a critique is to make things better, not to pat someone on the head.

Things kind of spiraled out of control. In my attempt to be honest, I came off as harsh. In my attempt to apologize, I came off as sarcastic and mean. In my attempt to back off and explain, I came off as self-deprecating and pitiful.

She misunderstood me. I misunderstood her. Let's just say it wasn't pretty and I had a bad week trying desperately to scramble out of the black hole our friendship had suddenly fallen into.

This is one of the big risks we take in this profession. Writing is filled with emotional pitfalls. Our work is dear to us, as precious as a new baby. Expectations are high, but at the same time it's like balancing on a ball while holding a rod with a dish on top. No one wants that dish to crash to the floor and shatter in a million pieces. Not me, the person telling them how to balance; not the person on the ball, trying desperately to make everything perfect.

I had a talk about it with a guy friend, who is also involved in the arts. It was short, done via text, and very matter-of-fact. He told me this happens everywhere. He told me I shouldn't take it so damn personally. That was about it. Guy logic. Gotta love it. It's very grounding.

So, I put on my man pants, wrote her a simple email explaining that I hadn't mean to be mean, or sarcastic, or pitiful, and nothing I wrote was in anger. I also said I valued our friendship.

All of this lead to a great realization about myself - something I'd been suspecting for quite a long time now - I SUCK at developmental editing. Give me a manuscript with typos and missing commas and grammar issues and I am all over that baby. But taking a story and trying to help someone mold it? Not my forte. It's not a reason to be down on myself. It's simply a truth that not only serves me better as a writer, but also helps me realize where my strengths are when my friends ask me for the help I'm always so happy to give.

Want to know what happened? My friend and I made up. I hope we move on happily and put this behind us like two dudes who just beat the shit out of each other, then went out for a beer.

Moral of the story? Be kind. Be honest. Be true. Be willing, always, to say you are sorry - even if you never meant to offend.

Megg, Miss Enchanted ePubber