Seeing Your Book in the Bookstore -- Emily

Tip of the Day: The laws of science dictate that when you take a camera into a bookstore, the likelihood of a salesperson asking you if you need assistance finding a book is three times greater than without said camera in hand.

Today is the official release date of I Heart You, You Haunt Me by our very own Miss Pinch Me I’m Pubbed, Lisa Schroeder. Congratulations on your release, Lisa. And readers, if you have any doubts about buying the book, just look how lovely it is sitting on a bookstore shelf!

“Hi, I’m Lisa’s book. Won’t you please give me a nice, new home? I’m not picky: anything has to be better than those shipping boxes I’ve been living in.”

I think seeing my book on the shelf for the first time will be one of the most surreal and non-surreal experiences at the same time. Surreal in the sense I can’t believe it’s happening. But non-surreal in the sense, that even now as an aspiring writer each time I go into a bookstore, I can’t help but pick out a spot my book would look nice once I, yanno, get an agent and sell a book.

If/when I finally do see my very own copy of my book on the shelf, I think my first instinct will be to think it’s someone else’s book with the same name and same book title as myself. Mainly because I have a feeling I will be stalking bookstores weeks before my official release date in the hopes of spotting a glance of it on the shelf. And once I actually spot it, I think I might be inclined to take a second glance to make sure it is in fact the book I’ve been trying to find for weeks.

After I had confirmed it was indeed EMILY’S BOOK. I would probably start examining it’s location on the bookshelf.

Take this Picture for example:

Why yes, that would be EMILY’S BOOK nicely located between Uninvited and Vampire Academy.

Then I would start panicking thinking: why is my book placed in between a book named Uninvited and Vampire Academy? Is that supposed to be some sort of sign? Like my book isn’t good enough that the book next to me is saying I’m “Uninvited?*” And what’s the deal with me being squished between two vampire books and having witches close by. Aren’t vampires and witches supposed to be mean? My poor book is going to feel so…well…uninvited. And then they are going to want to teach all my characters to become a vampire at Vampire Academy, I’m sure, which would be a slight departure from their real selves.

After convincing myself that my mind was playing tricks on me and those other books weren’t out to get mine, I’m sure my next thoughts would be something like this:

• Why is no one picking up my book?
• If no one picks up my book, then surely my publisher is never going to buy another book by me. And then all my hard work to get even this one book published is going to go nowhere.
• And if my publisher never buys another book by me, surely it will prove all those people that rejected me during my agent and editor submission phase correct: that my books weren’t good enough.
• Maybe I should face the book face forward, so people can see it more. Surely they will buy it then, won’t they?
• Great, no one’s buying it still. It’s because they realize this Emily Marshall chick is a horrible writer. I can see in on their faces as they walk by.
• Maybe I should ask the bookstore clerk if I can autograph it, because I heard signing books can help sell more.

Then the following conversation might take place:

ME (going up to the bookstore clerk): Um, yeah, so I wrote this book, here. Do you think I could sign them and you can give me one of those spiffy stickers that says, ‘Autographed Copy.’

16-YEAR OLD MINIMUM WAGE BOOKSTORE CLERK: Yeah right, lady, like you wrote a book?

ME: No really. (opening the back cover of my book and pointing to the author picture): Look that’s me.

16-YEAR OLD MINIMUM WAGE BOOKSTORE CLERK THAT IS CLEARLY OUT TO GET ME: whatever lady that person in the photo has much nicer hair then you do.

ME (thinking that was a low blog and talking myself into the fact I’m above arguing with a 16-Year Old bookstore clerk that is clearly in allegiance with Uninvited and Vampire Academy*)

***

As I head back to the YA books section, I would continue thinking that the conversation didn’t go over as I planned, so I would devise a new plan:

• Maybe I should move my book to random places in the bookstore. Because aren’t people seeing your book in multiple places, supposed to make it feel more important and want to buy it more?

And of course it would end there: at me thinking about putting my book in multiple places in the bookstore. Because it would be wrong of me to place my book in the “Best Seller” section or on every end cap in the bookstore, wouldn’t it?

Now I have to get back writing the best book I can, so that the above can become a reality. Even if I’m sure in actuality seeing my book on the shelves for the first time would go nothing like the above, but it was fun to pretend.

***

* NOTE TO READERS: I have in fact heard wonderful things about these books, and am sure in actuality they would welcome my book with open spines J Sorry, I couldn’t resist, though.