What I'd Like to See More of in Indie Pub

Tip of the Day: Nervous to give self-pub books a try? Don't be. 99% of the time Amazon allows you to download a sample. Try it before you buy it.

It's really hard to give a list of things I'd like to see in indie and/or self-pub books. As far as genre goes, I think we've got them all covered. Want an angel/werewolf/time travel adventure? It's out there. Want a straight-up YA vamp story? There's six billion to choose from.

What I love to see is originality. I want to read something that hasn't been done before. One recent release that did that is Spider Wars by Angela Carlie (full disclosure: Ang is one of my writing buddies, but she has no idea I'm about to promote her book).

Spider Wars is a YA novel that straddles the line between paranormal romance and horror. It's edgy. It takes risks. It gave me nightmares.

That's what I want. A book that sticks with me for a long time after I read it. And Angela's next novel is so original...I can't talk about it, but OMG...her books are what imagination is all about.

 I'd LOVE, LOVE, LOVE to see more middle grade novels from self-pubbers. Now that the Harry Potter ebooks are available, I'd say it's not long before MG explodes in ebook format. Are you ready? (I am...wrapping one up as I write this.)

And even though my novels are pretty dark at times, where's the ebooks for the bubble gum crowd? Not everyone likes darkness. Sit down at your keyboard and write something cute! NOW! (*disclaimer* - I wrote this post earlier in the week before the other A2A girls mentioned the same thing. I'm seeing a trend here...)

What else would you like to see from the self-pub/indie community???

Megg, Miss Enchanted ePubber

I Miss the Light

Tip of the Day: Don’t lock up your teen books libraries! Adults read YA too! (Our public library doesn’t open the teen section until 3 p.m. daily. BOO!)

I’m with Deena. Yesterday she talked about what she’s looking for as a teen librarian so today I’m going to tell you what I’m looking for as a YA reader.

Look at this:

Notice anything? What the heck is with all the dark books?! Okay, I get it. Publishers want to make lots of $$$ so they chase trends. When Twilight was big (okay, settle down all you Twi-hards. :-) I know you feel Twilight still IS big. I mean more at the beginning of Twi-mania) there were 1.2 million vampire books released that year. I may be embellishing on that number but it certainly felt like that right? And now Hunger Games is a huge success so brace yourself for the onslaught of world ending, fighting for your life, I’m just trying to make it another day without being poisoned, burned, drowned, shot, stabbed etc. but my hair still looks cute books.

And that’s great and all for the occasional high adventure book. But what about everyday life? What about stuff that might actually happen to teens today? I want to read about what to do when your best friend suddenly stabs you in the back. Or how to deal with the fact that the guy you’ve been secretly in love with for years just fell in love with your best friend. I want some more realistic stuff on the shelves. And make it funny too please. There isn’t nearly enough funny stuff available anymore.

I’m not saying that there isn’t ANY. There totally is. But you’ve got to hunt it down because it sure isn’t getting the promo the doom and gloom stuff is. I’m currently reading Meredith Zeitlin’s Freshman Year and other Disasters which came out earlier this month and it's totally cute. 

And Kristin Walker (A Match Made in High School) has a new book coming out next month that’s super funny.  

But I miss the bigger selection of light funny books. There was a time that I would walk into the library and just check out all of the pink books. Not lying. I didn’t even read their summaries. But I just knew if it was pink it would be girlie and fun. And I was rarely disappointed.

And it not just me. I’m hearing this from teens too. I was skyping with a book club not too long ago and after we finished I asked them what kind of books they were reading. The teens were all excited about Hunger Games and the movie but they expressed that aside from the Hunger Games they were growing very weary of all the dark sci fi and dystopian. One teen said, “Why are all the books about end of the world, people dying, and all that awful stuff? Why can’t there be nice stories about things that really might happen?” She went on to say that was why they had read mine that month because they were looking for books that weren’t depressing.

And I get e-mails from readers all of the time about how much they like to laugh and relate to fun stories so there is a need there. Obviously I wouldn’t want the bookshelves to be all pink either but, hey how about we shoot  for a balance? Hopefully we’ll start seeing more fun romance YA around the corner.

Kristina, Miss Author in Action

What I'm Looking For (or Show Me the Funny!*)

*with apologies to Jerry Maguire

Tip of the Day, Librarian Edition: The public library is not a social services office, but remember that sometimes it feels that way.

I'm not an agent or editor, but as a YA Librarian, I have a "wish list" of books I'd like to see on my shelves, too. While I can't sell or produce these types of books, I can buy them, talk about them to my colleagues, put them on library book lists for patrons, put them face-out on displays, and directly set them into the hands of readers. Here's my current YA wish list:



1. Realistic, contemporary books with boy main characters that are funny but grounded. (Examples: SETH BAUMGARTNER'S LOVE MANIFESTO by Eric Luper; FOOD, GIRLS, & OTHER THINGS I CAN'T HAVE by Allen Zadoff; NOTES FROM THE MIDNIGHT DRIVER by Jordan Sonnenblick) Girls will read these books, AND I can give them to boys who are looking for something humorous.



2. Teen books with tween appeal. (Exampls: THE GALLAGHER GIRLS SERIES by Ally Carter; JUST ONE WISH by Janette Rallison; THE ESPRESSOLOGIST by our Kristina Springer) Fourth, fifth, and sixth grade girls particularly will come to me while I'm working reference in the children's room and ask for some "more good books from the teen area." *PLEASE NOTE: This is very different than the PARENTS who come to me in this scenario and say that their kids are "very advanced readers" who need teen books since they've outgrown the middle grade novels -- but the books can't involve romantic relationships or kissing or or or....* These girls just want to expand their library and book horizons with more "innocent" titles that feature slightly older scenarios and characters.

3. Contemporary fiction with non-white characters on the cover -- that aren't stories about the hood/drugs/race "issues". I want Sarah Dessen with an Indian girl on the cover. I want Jordan Sonnenblick with a Chinese boy on the cover. (*Edited to add: YES! A Jordan Sonnenblick novel DOES already exist with a Chinese boy on the cover and the story is funny and the cover is great -- ZEN AND THE ART OF FAKING IT -- and I'd love more like this to put face-out on my shelves.) This wish is more to the publishers than the authors, although count me amongst readers who want to see characters from all over the globe in my books so if you can write them, bring it on! I have so many non-white teens in my town who don't see themselves on the covers of YA books -- but they read a ton, and when I give them a book that features a teen who is Fill-in-the-Blank-American like they are, they are so happy.

I have to throw some middle-grade wish list titles too:



1. True science fiction with boy and girl characters. (Examples: a "younger" ENDER'S GAME by Orson Scott Card; CHRONAL ENGINE by Greg Leitich Smith) I get this question from a lot of student teachers, and it's a good extension for all the kids who ask for Star Wars books all the time and are looking to expand their base.

2. Ditto (3) above in the YA section, but for middle grade fiction (non-white kids on the covers of just good contemporary fiction).

All right, who's gonna write them? :)

Deena, Miss Subbing for Pubbing

Last query from our Query Clinic participants

Tip of the Day: even if you don't want to use it to track your queries, querytracker.net still has a ton of helpful info. My favorite bonus features are the list of New and Updated Agents and the comments section about all the agents' wait times, etc. 

Since we aren't quite done talking about queries yet, I'd love to post another query from those that submitted to the Query Clinic. This one is from Monica.

Dear Agent Awesome,


As a devoted reader of your blog and Twitter as well as a fan of your agenting style and clients, I believe that my young adult novel STAGE DIRECTIONS is something you would be interested in.


Lucy Miller is constantly trying to take care of everybody else, making detailed lists to keep track of her many commitments, and biting off more than she can chew. She just wants high school and the plays she’s a techie for in the drama club to go as smoothly as possible because, after all, if she doesn’t keep track of the little things, who will? But now in the final months of her senior year, she’s tired of how routine high school feels, so she impulsively tries out for the spring play and actually gets cast as an understudy.


Lucy didn't want to be bored, and it's a classic case of being careful what you wish for, just like her life-long best friend Colin warned her. Now she’s trying to learn her lines and how to speak with a British accent, figure out why her ex-boyfriend Todd is suddenly speaking to her after a year of silence, build sets, and be there for her friends (and sometimes, even her enemies). And since when does Colin’s smile make her tongue-tied and nervous?


STAGE DIRECTIONS is the tale of a teenage girl who tells it like it is when she finds herself onstage instead of backstage and starts to fall for her boy-next-door best friend. At 62,000 words,this story may appeal to fans of Maureen Johnson, Stephanie Perkins, and Sarah Dessen.


I am currently a teaching assistant in a high school library while also finishing my MS in library and information science from the University X. Coincidently, I work at the high school I graduated from where I was a four-year member of the drama club and I now assist my former director.


Thank you for your time and consideration.


My thoughts:

• All and all this is a very solid query and well written. It's super easy to follow and I feel like we get a great idea of what the book is about and the characters involved.
• It works very well that you start off with character info so we can get to know Lucy right up front and that she has a Type A personality. From the beginning it's easy to figure drama is going to ensue.
• It might even be more impactful if you very briefly include what has caused her to be this Type A. Is her home life chaotic? Parent's divorce? External pressure to succeed? I know it can be a general personality trait that many of us have, but if there is a reason behind it, it might be beneficial to mention it along with the description of her personality. Especially because there's usually a reason why a teen takes on that much responsibility to "take care of everybody else."
• The first sentence in the second paragraph of the book description: "Lucy didn't want to be bored, and it's a classic case of being careful what you wish for, just like her life-long best friend Colin warned her." might be a bit too obvious. I kind of like it, but I think you might be able to rephrase to get more impact.
• Also, is there a main conflict in the novel? It's a little unclear from this query. The character conflict is nice, but there has to be something else that happens to escalate the drama. You don't have to include everything, but you need to at least hint at something larger.
• Does she become more than an understudy? If so how? Is that important drama? If not, maybe just mention that she was cast in the play and leave out the understudy info for the query.
• Your credentials are spot on and definitely highlight that you have the inside knowledge to deliver a believable book about high school drama clubs.
• Also LOVE the name of the book.
• And a general comment to everyone (because I have a feeling Monica does this when customizing the query): make sure you actually read the agent's blog or twitter pages if you comment about them. Pointing out something more specific to that agent that you enjoy about them and why you think they'd be a good fit might be helpful too. Also, specifically mention those client's books that you enjoy. But make sure if you include it that those clients aren't vastly different then you as a writer, or it might serve to confuse the agent more than anything. Also, if you compare your work to other authors (like Monica did), then you might want to just choose one location in the query to mention specific authors.

In summary:

The query is well written. I'd just like it too escalate with the drama a bit more in the second paragraph. Also, the plot itself doesn't seem too new, but I happen to be one that likes that and I know others do to. I'm a fan of predictability and just general light, fun reads. But I know it can make the agent search very hard, especially in today's market. So keep at it, because someone will be bound to love it! 

Thanks for submitting Monica and good luck in your agent search!

--Emily, Miss Querylicious


...

Frequently Used Query Phrases

Tip of the Day: Can't get enough queries? We're still talking about them! You'll also find great query letter critiques on Verla Kay's Blue Boards.

I read incoming manuscript for Rhemalda Publishing, and our query clinic got me curious. Which phrases crop up in queries again and again? So I analyzed a good chunk of queries I've read recently, and here are my most frequently seen phrases in query letters:

She finds herself having to choose between X and Y. This one isn't much of a surprise. We love to read about moral choices. Just watch that "she finds herself" construction, which is a little weak despite how commonly it's used. After reading a bunch of queries, I find I prefer a definite X and Y. "She has to choose between the possibility of love or the chance of a lifetime" doesn't tell me much. "She has to choose between the shark-infested waters or the pirate ship" is very telling.

Time is running out. It's hard to avoid cliches entirely in a query letter, but I was really surprised by how how many queries included this one. Again, we love to read a novel with a ticking clock aspect. But maybe find a more specific way to explain your ticking clock. That will at least give you room to use a much more telling cliche, like "Daddy's little girl." (I have a one cliche per query tolerance personally.)

She finds herself (irresistibly, increasingly) drawn to. This is mostly found in paranormal romance queries and YA queries, and we get a lot of both. Try to find another way to explain why the guy is so attractive. This one's been beaten into cliche territory.

To make matters worse. Most of the rest of my list is similar. "Things are bad enough when," "It was bad enough that." Look, the point of a novel is that things are going to get worse for your characters. I get that. You don't need to spell it out. Just tell me what happens.

Have you been reading our query letter clinic over the past two weeks? I guess we're in Week 3 since we're still talking queries. We'd love to know if you're finding it useful. Please let us know what you think of our query letter clinic. We really appreciate your feedback. Thanks!

-- Kate, Miss Perfecting the Pages

Query Clinic #5: Book Blogger Version

Tip of the Day: Want to win some Hunger Games swag? Check out Susan's giveaway!

It's my turn to take on the query, but this time it's for those authors who already have a book out, or one upcoming.

My guest today is Susan Kaye Quinn. Her novel, Open Minds, debuted last November and she's already breaking sales records (which is not a surprise to me because Open Minds rawks!).

But Susan had to start out just like the rest of us. As a debut, she had no readers beyond her circle of friends, family, and writers. She reached out to book bloggers with this letter (my comments in red):

Dear Lisa,

My name is Susan Kaye Quinn and I write novels for young adults. I see from your website Books for Company that you enjoy young adult as well as paranormal stories, and I hope you will be interested in my paranormal YA novel Open Minds (Book One of the Mindjack Trilogy). 

 I'm of the grab-em-by-the-throat-and-don't-let-go school. If it were me, I'd put the tagline and book description at the top of the letter. Putting 'Review Request' in the subject line of the email lets the blogger know exactly why you're contacting them. Not a huge deal, and some bloggers might want to be told at the beginning why you chose them. It certainly isn't enough to make a blogger stop reading. ;)

When everyone reads minds, a secret is a dangerous thing to keep.

Sixteen-year-old Kira Moore is a zero, someone who can’t read thoughts or be read by others. Zeros are outcasts who can’t be trusted, leaving her no chance with Raf, a regular mindreader and the best friend she secretly loves. When she accidentally controls Raf’s mind and nearly kills him, Kira tries to hide her frightening new ability from her family and an increasingly suspicious Raf. But lies tangle around her, and she’s dragged deep into a hidden world of mindjackers, where having to mind control everyone she loves is just the beginning of the deadly choices before her.

You totally want to read Open Minds now, don't you? Susan does a great job of drawing the reader in with the description of her book. This is the single most important piece of work you will write. If a reader isn't gripped by your book's description, they won't want to read it.

If you are interested in reviewing, I would be happy to send you an Advance Reader’s Copy in the format of your choice (Kindle or Nook).

 Here's a sticky part for indie & small press authors - we may not have paperback copies available for review. Sometimes this is a problem for book bloggers, sometimes it isn't. When I query bloggers, I check out their guidelines. Often they will list which ebook format they prefer. If they do list one, I say something along the lines of, "Per your preference on your website, I'd like to gift you a Kindle edition of ..." It shows them you really did your research.

 If you are not willing to give away a paperback, don't even mention it. For indies & small press authors, the cost of paperback copies can come right out of our pocket - something that can get very expensive over time. 

Open Minds releases on November 1st, and I’m coordinating a Blog Tour for Open Minds from Nov. 1-18. If you decide to review and can participate in the Open Minds Blog Tour, that would be fantastic, but a review before or after release would be wonderful as well. In addition, I’m open to sponsoring an e-book giveaway of Open Minds and would be happy to participate in any promotional events like guest posting or interviews. Open Minds is posted on Goodreads, and you can find out more about me and my previous books from my website. The Mindjack Trilogy has its own website, where more information about the upcoming release can be found.

Susan does a great job here of giving the blogger the option to join her tour. There's no pressure on the blogger to read the book by tomorrow (yes, some authors do make requests like that - and they shouldn't). The only thing I don't see is a date to contact her by if the blogger wants to participate in the tour. It's just a courtesy so both of you know what's expected and by when. A blogger emailing you to say they want to participate in your tour isn't the same as imposing a deadline for reading the book.

 In the past, I've had bloggers participate in my tours who haven't read the book yet. An interview or guest post is sufficient for some, with a review to follow in the near future. 

Thank you very much for your time and consideration! Please let me know if you would like me to send you a copy for review.

All the best,                 

Sue

susankayequinn@comcast.net

Susan Kaye Quinn, Author

 Susan Kaye Quinn grew up in California, where she wrote snippets of stories and passed them to her friends during class. She pursued a bunch of engineering degrees and worked a lot of geeky jobs, including turns at GE Aircraft Engines, NASA, and NCAR. Now that she writes novels, her business card says "Author and Rocket Scientist" and she doesn't have to sneak her notes anymore. All that engineering comes in handy when dreaming up paranormal powers in future worlds or mixing science with fantasy to conjure slightly plausible inventions. Susan writes from the Chicago suburbs with her three boys, two cats, and one husband. Which, it turns out, is exactly as much as she can handle.

Susan has pictures of her other books here, but unfortunately I was unable to get them to upload properly. :(((

Life, Liberty, and Pursuit (a teen love story) by Omnific Publishing

Summer Breeze Anthology

Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com

Open Minds (Available November 1st!) on Goodreads now

All in all, this is a fantastic query letter. Susan really did her homework. She was thoughtful and considerate when presenting her work to the blogger.

Everyone needs to remember that bloggers need to be treated with respect, just like an agent or an editor. 

Megg, Miss Enchanted ePubber 

Query Clinic #4 - YA Sci-fi/Dystopian

Tip of the Day: Want to see how my trip to the Illinois Reading Council Conference went? Check out my blog.

Thank you Gwendolyn for sending us your query for your YA sci-fi/dystopian! Here it is:

Dear (name of person),

Ten months ago, seventeen-year-old Morgan left home to escape her abusive step-father. 

Six months ago, Earth was attacked by Scrappers, a cyborg species with black eyes and cold hearts that came without warning. 

Two months ago, the Scrappers stopped killing and started taking. 

None of the captured have been seen again. 

Now, within dead cities and abandoned highways, Morgan fights to stay hidden from the Scrappers’ search for humans. She travels alone and trusts no one but herself. The unseen scars left by her step-father haunt her every day. Morgan flinches from the help of strangers, and nightmares consume her during the night, unveiling fears of her dark past and the creatures who still hunt her. 

But when Morgan meets a boy named Jude with a metal arm, something only the Scrappers could have given him, she chooses to trust him despite her fears telling her otherwise. Not only was Jude taken by the Scrappers, but he was also the first one to survive them.

And now they want him back. 

STEEL HORIZON is a young adult science fiction novel, complete at 89,000 words. This is a post-apocalyptic story in a Terminator meets Book of Eli type world. STEEL HORIZON was the number one pick on Inkpop in November 2010.

Thank you for your time and consideration. I look forward to hearing from you soon.

First, the stuff I love:

• That you started with numbers, counting down to what happened. Grabbed my attention!
• The idea-- especially how she meets a boy altered by the Scrappers.
• The last line, "And now they want him back"-- very hooky! Makes me want to read. That whole paragraph about meeting Jude reads really well too-- I wouldn't change it.
• That you gave an example of what else it was like-- Terminator meets Book of Eli. Awesome!
• That it was the number one pick on Inkpop.

Seriously, this is very well written-- you did an awesome job! But I want to point out some things that could help make it even better.


Stuff you can work on:

• I might shorten the first sentences to make them convey more of a sense of urgency. Like- "10 months ago 17 yr old Morgan escaped her abusive home." And then shortening the info on the scrappers in the next line. Like, "6 months ago the Earth was attacked by Scrappers." Weeding out lines like "that came without warning". That's implied when you say they were attacked. And telling us they have black eyes and cold hearts doesn't really add much at this point. You want to quickly grab the agents attention with your first lines.
• Are you in love with the name "Scrappers"? Something about it kept making me think of a little league baseball team instead of something much scarier like you intend.
• Some questions-- how many are taken? Is it mass abduction to leave the cities abandoned like you say in the next line? Because then you talk about strangers so it doesn't sound quite as abandoned.
• Some of the stuff is repetitive like trusting no one but herself and flinching from the help of strangers. Also, "unseen scars left by her stepfather haunt her every day" and "nightmares consume her during the night, unveiling fears of her dark past..." This kind of thing can be tightened up. 
• Really you could probably change that whole paragraph from- "Now, within dead cities and abandoned highways, Morgan fights to stay hidden from the Scrappers’ search for humans. She travels alone and trusts no one but herself. The unseen scars left by her step-father haunt her every day. Morgan flinches from the help of strangers, and nightmares consume her during the night, unveiling fears of her dark past and the creatures who still hunt her." to "Now, within dead cities and abandoned highways, Morgan fights to stay hidden from the Scrappers’ search for humans. And fights the nightmares of her past that consume her each night."
• I would elaborate on what Inkpop is just in case the agent doesn't know right off and you don't want to make him/her google. I honestly didn't know at first. If you phrase it like this, "STEEL HORIZON was the number one pick on Harper Collins' Inkpop Writing Community in November of 2010." that sounds more official/clearer. And I went back and forth on whether or not to include the month/year. On one hand it lets the agent know exactly when you were #1 which is good. On the other hand, is the agent going to then think wow, you've been shopping this finished manuscript for over a year already? I'm going to pass too. What do you think readers?
• Finally, I really like how you set up that last paragraph-- great job! Do you have any other writing credentials you can add in there? Program you've completed? Place you've published a short story maybe?

Okay readers, what do you think about Gwendolyn's query? Did I miss anything? 

Kristina, Miss Author in Action