How to Sell a Billion Books and Be Queen of the World

Tip of the Day: Tired of political ads? Me too. DVR everything from now through the election and fast-forward through the commercials.

Maybe I'm crazy (which is likely), but I've decided that magic is the deciding factor in best-selling books. Yes, there are marketing techniques that can help and yes, your book better be good, but seriously, look at the bestsellers. What makes them better than you?

Typos Clearly Will Kill a Book's Success

I've seen ebook bestsellers (and, no, I'm not naming names because that's rude) that are riddled with typos. Some are so bad, I wanted to throw my precious iPad against the wall. Some indie authors clearly don't know the difference between your and you're, and they're, there, and their, much less where to place a comma or even a period. Yet sometimes those books hit BIG.

They Appeal to a Wide Audience

Where did the 50 Shades audience come from? Seriously? Where? I know there are a gajillion people who read erotica, but I've seen a lot of them bemoan 50 Shades. I was at my local park district, hanging out while my son was at his gymnastics lessons, and some gnarly old lady was sitting on the couch next to me, reading 50 Shades. Her lips were moving along. I couldn't help but wondering if she was mouthing 'ball cock.' Gross.

The Book is High Concept

How are vampiers in love considered high concept? People acted like they'd never heard of sexy vampires before Twilight came out. Am I the only one who watched The Lost Boys? Could Jason Patric and Jamie Gertz have been any hotter?

I could go on and on, but I'm sick (again, or still, depending on who you ask), so I don't wanna. I'm going to sum up.

You cannot predict a book's success. You could write the most beautiful book in the world and it might languish like a pile of overlooked dog poo in the backyard. No one noticed it, so no one cares. All you can do is continue to write what you love. Publish the books that mean something to you. If your only goal in writing is to be the most famous author in the universe, then you're clearly on the wrong path. Very few authors become mega-famous. It's the luck of the draw.

Let's go back to Twilight for a sec. I'm the first one to admit I loooooved this series. I plowed through the first three books in one week. I am also the first to admit that I threw Breaking Dawn against the wall when I finished it (hardcover, yes, but at least it wasn't my iPad). The ending drove me mad. Soooo glad they're supposedly changing the ending of the movie. ;) But there was something about the books, despite Bella's neediness, and Edward's stalker behavior, and Jacob's love for Renesmee. There are more things I despise about the books than I like. Yet, I Could. Not. Put. Them. Down.

Explain that to me. And when you do, surely we will have discovered the key to selling a billion books and becoming Queen of the World.

So to the 20-or-so people who email, FB, tweet me every week, asking what my secret is, I'm telling you right now that I don't know the secret. If I did, my name would be on the NY Times bestseller list. But I'd bet that even if you asked those authors, they don't know either. They're holding their breath, hoping it doesn't magically dry up. Because, yes, the magic goes both ways. It can propel you and it can tear you down.

Megg, Miss Enchanted ePubber

Writing to Sexy Trends

Tip of the Day: Like entering contests? I'm on a blog hop right now where tons of authors and bloggers are giving away ebooks. Check it out!

You may have heard, erotica's really hot now (haha, bad pun, I know).

As a self-pub, I can switch gears, and genres, ten times a day if I want to.  If I want to write erotica, I can. I can come up with a new pen name like Kitty Malone and publish naughty stories until I'm a bajillionaire (that's where the money's at right now).

But I'm not going to. I don't read erotica, so I don't really know how it's written. I'd probably develop a permanent blush. The last time I read an erotica novel, back in the last century when I was working at a used bookstore and we got in one of Anne Rice's erotic pieces, I think I was pink for a week. It was great, but it just wasn't my ball gag, you know?

Here's the bigger reason I won't write it, though: I write because I love to follow my muse. I spent seven years as a freelance parenting journalist writing about baby poop and C-sections. Even though I made decent money at it, I hated writing about topics I wasn't passionate about. I had my own babies at the time. I was living, and breathing, that lifestyle. That's when it hit me - I needed an escape from the normal. That's when I allowed my muse to lead me back into the fantastical stories I'd written for fun since the age of seven.

Writing is my escape. It's my way to honor my soul (or what my family would call my weirdness). While I loooove making money, I'm in looooove with writing from my heart.

And if erotica is in your soul? Then GO FOR IT! I know lots of people who love to read it and have always secretly wanted to try writing it. I say, do it, but only if you love it. Readers are smart - they'll know if the author isn't enjoying herself (ha! another bad erotica pun!).

Don't write to trends - write in sync with your heart! <3

Megg, Miss Enchanted ePubber

What the Teens are Reading Now (*or Hunger Games and What Else I Don't Have to Weed)

Tip of the Day: Catch up with the books I read and what I think of them here.

A few weeks ago, a reader asked what teen books are currently going out from the library like hot cakes. I've been monitoring my YA library collection in order to properly answer this question. And I've learned that the answer is: It depends.

Here are some observations.

1. I had a YA display up for all of May, Asian American Heritage Month books; titles that featured Asian characters or themes. And over the course of the month, only a handful of books were checked out -- and I have a fairly large Asian population in my town. These books were a mix of historical, contemporary, and fantasy stories.

2. I had a YA display up for two weeks in May, Jewish Heritage Month books; titles that featured Jewish characters or themes. And over the coures of the two weeks, a large number of these books were checked out -- and I have a very large Jewish population in my town. These books were a mix of historical (WWII/Holocaust primarily) and contemporary.

3. I had a YA display up for four days in June (so far), Gay Pride Month books; titles that featured GLBT characters or themes. And over the course of the four days, a lot of these books were checked out (and this display was super popular last year over the course of June as well) -- and I have no idea how big the gay population is in my town. These books are primarily contemporary fiction.

4. In the books that were NOT recently on display, I've noticed these titles/genres going out:

a) high fantasy (ex. Cinda Williams Chima's HEIR series)


b) spy novels (ex. Ally Carter's series)


c) action adventure novels (ex. James Patterson's series, Anthony Horowitz's series, Cassandra Clare's series)


A lot of "midlist" books that I bought in 2009/2010 are now languishing on the shelves, even if they are good books, and sadly I will probably have to weed them to make space for new stuff soon. BUT it's amazing how much these same titles can suddenly take off when they are put on the local school's summer reading lists or for assignments. I can see why authors get so excited when their books make the "state award lists."

Another conclusion is that while high fantasy and some paranormal romance are still going strong, contemporary is being read a lot, too, compared to the past couple years (during the TWILIGHT series' debuts).

Oh, and if you want to know the title in general with the most holds in our system, it is 50 SHADES OF GREY (about 700 holds between the hard copy and ebook versions; yes, it's beating out HUNGER GAMES).

Deena, Miss Subbing for Pubbing

Fifty Shades of Typos

Tip of the Day: Want to do a very in-depth typo analysis in your manuscript? Put your document into a program that will read your story out loud. That's a great way to find those tiny typos!


Clearly, if there's a typo in your book, you suck. Right?

Especially if you're a self-pub. It proves that not only are you illiterate, but that you are sloppy.

If it happens in a traditionally published book (and it does more often than you might think), then it's just a simple boo-boo and no one was harmed.

Sadly, this is what many people believe...  :((((


Guess what? Typos happen to everyone!

Here's why it doesn't mean that the author is an illiterate idiot. Remember this little Facebook meme that went around a year or two ago:

Arocdnicg to rsceearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn’t mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer are in the rghit pcale. The rset can be a toatl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit pobelrm. Tihs is buseace the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Now, whether or not there was actually a study like this done in Cambridge (I think that's an urban legend), the point is that we are all capable of reading the above passage even though it's technically jibberish.

Now imagine one of these little puppies hidden in a 200 or 250 page manuscript. You might miss it because your mind automatically translates it. Imagine 'first' instead of 'fist' got through spellcheck and eight different highly educated readers who also happen to have extensive experience in editing.

It happened in Anathema.

Yes, I was horrified. Yes, I fixed it. No, it does not mean I'm an idiot or that my entire novel sucked (novel suckage is totally subjective). Nor did I blame my early readers.

Sometimes a typo, or two or three, are blown up to such huge proportions. Reviewers take off one or two entire stars because a typo distracted them so much. The author gets flamed and another ding appears in their already-fragile armor.

If readers think authors aren't bothered by typos, trust me, we ARE! We obsess over editing far more than you might guess. It's important for readers to understand that we are all simply human. I honestly and truly believe that all authors want error-free books. I think if you read a book and it has an occasional typo, maybe you could forgive them. If the book has typos on every page, then yeah, maybe it needs some extensive editing. But if you find occasional typos, does it really take away from you enjoyment of the book?

If you don't believe that typos or story inconsistencies happen in well-vetted traditionally published books, then here's two examples to show you that they do. I have no intention of flaming these authors at all. In fact, I happen to have a literary crush on one of them (the dude, not the chick). It's simply to illustrate that these things happen.

Ex #1: James Rollins
Ex #2: Veronica Roth

Why do typos and inconsistencies get through sometimes? Because we're human. At least I am. I think... ;)