What is it with me, first drafts, and body parts? I'm hoping this is a common problem and you can all chime in and say, sure, Kate, we all do that, you're not totally insane. But all my first drafts sound like this to me while I'm writing them:
Their eyes locked. He tapped her hand. She hoisted the backpack on her shoulder and brushed her hair behind her ear. Their arms brushed against each other and she felt a shiver up her spine. He couldn't meet her eyes anymore and stared at his feet. Her back was against the wall. She banged her elbow. Pain shot up her forearm and she opened her mouth to yelp in surprise.
Alright, I'm exaggerating a tiny bit, but that's what it feels like. I mean, obviously I've got some dialogue and stuff sprinkled in there in real life. But man, my characters are extremely fidgety while they're talking.
Did you ever run Wordle (http://www.wordle.net/) over your manuscript to see which words you've used most often? I keep expecting to get back EYES in 38 point font. (Actually I usually end up with LOOK or some variation of it in 38 point font, which is close enough. You'd be surprised how many meanings I think that word has.)
So ... common problem? How does one edit out the body parts?
-- Kate, Miss Perfecting the Pages